Have you seen the movie, “Friday”?
Chris Tucker has a line in that movie, which you can see here:
I just shared this with a good friend in Facebook messenger… over a situation they had frustration & anger over.
There is a battle between your inner altruist, and your inner narcissist.
You MUST have both to live a full life.
Explore the benefits that you received from this “negative” experience you’re experiencing with that person. [the perceived event / action / inaction]
You’re probably aware of the drawbacks… and those are fueling your anger / frustration.
When you dive into the benefits of:
How did this serve me?
How did this serve my team, my family?
What good came out of this?
Where is the hidden order here?
How does this serve me in the future?
you can reach a state of “balance” among the emotional charge.
When you wish that same situation onto all of your team & onto your closest loved ones… and you feel the gratitude if that were to happen…
that’s when you know you’ve reached the balance.
If you don’t feel it… keep finding benefits of the perceived event / action / inaction.
This exercise, which I’m using very consistently across anything that “triggers” me….
it’s been one of the best things I’ve ever done in my life…. it’s made me WAY more unfuckwithable.
but Jason, what about that time you got jumped downtown, and you went to the ER to get staples in your head because those 2 thugs really fucked you up?
Yes, I truly wish that SAME situation, even on my closest loved ones and my children… because I’m grateful that I’ve found the hidden order within that event & action they.
Wanna know a few of them? (off the top of my head)
– It showed me what a BAD ASS my brother, Josh Cardamone is, as he held off 2 big ass dudes all by himself. (so that they didn’t curb stomp his brother, laying on the ground, unconscious, with blood pooling around his head.)
Increased my knowing that good people are good to surround yourself with.
– It planted a seed of the need of knowing how to kick ass & defend myself & others, when needed… regardless of how big the opponent is. (I’m now a brown belt in karate, have trained Muay Thai for 4.5 years, and have publicly fought… and I’ve also held my CCW and trained for ~8 years.)
Increased my “kick some assery” – if needed.
– It made me realize that I CAN take a brutal shot & still live. (even with my “glass jaw” & body’s ability to “pass out more quickly than others”, which I’ve had for my entire life.)
Increased my stamina & belief.
– It helped me to see that sometimes it’s best to just shut the hell up & walk away… even when I car almost runs over your brother & kills him… even with a walk signal telling us to cross the street.
(Especially when dudes are clearly on drugs)
Increased my discernment.
– It helped me remember there’s always justice served & balance… in one way or another. (as I heard the story of the female officer running down the thugs to be arrested.)
– I learned how important it is to protect my family, though force, intelligence, and otherwise… when the Sheriff was trying to get me to appear in court against them… and then told me that it’s not possible to get my home address off of the record, and that the thugs would know where I lived if I filed charges.
When I brought it up, he replied, “that’s why I keep a gun in my home son.”
(with zero fucks given that my wife was at home, pregnant & bed ridden, and that at the time I worked nights & wasn’t usually home until 2am)
– I was reminded that friends always have my back, even if it’s for me to sleep on their couch, bleeding all over it throughout the night.
– I have an awesome scar that’s a conversation starter when I cut my hair short.
– I learned how resilient & resourceful I am when I got the job at Wells Fargo home mortgage, despite missing a MATH question in the interview, by still suffering from concussion just 2-3 days later at my interview. (all while having a math degree, and my future boss saw it on my resume)
– It reminded me that not all people fully appreciate 2Pac’s wisdom, especially police officers who are investigating a crime.
(LMAO… I grew up with 2Pac… deeply inspired by what he did with his life, and for me!)
– It brought new meaning & fun to Chris Tucker’s famous line from “Friday”, “You got knocked the fuck out, man!”
and on & on & on.
Thank you for that perfect experience my brothas… I am grateful for all you’ve blessed my life with.
(and yes, if my kids, loved ones, and teammates ever have this experience… I will help them to find the hidden order.
and not to have to take a decade(s) to find it… or to have a lifetime of hate & regret from “emotional trauma”… planting the seeds of cancer & disease within them.)