When I was a kid, my dream was to get a soccer scholarship.
It seemed so far away it was an impossible target…
I didn’t see any way to make it happen…
yet it somehow stayed on my radar, and I kept on practicing & training on my own.
I got to where it was all just an imaginary game…
me juking defenders in my parent’s driveway, pocketing the ball into the upper 90 of the garage door frame.
(and breaking my fair share of lights and windows) 😲
I remember always wanting the local National team player to drive by and see “some kid with heart playing the beautiful game”…
and maybe he would put in a good word with someone and get me on a top team.
I would say overall as I look back… I was living in a fantasy land…
nothing approaching reality or “what’s possible”.
but then again… isn’t that what kids are supposed to do?
Dream big?!?
This story will inspire the kid, and adult, in all of us…
My dream seemed even more distant that despite my high school being nationally ranked and us winning back to back state championships…
I didn’t start a single game… and got pretty minimal playing time. (although I did get subbed in for the last 15-20 minutes of my Senior year high school state championship… We were up by 1 goal… and I remember it as among the most intense minutes of my entire life… the entirety passed by in moments of “too fast” or “slow motion” reality… time was completely distorted.)
I also remember going home on the bus after winning that 2nd championship…
and how grateful and happy I was…
and how a most others were too…
yet a few were beating themselves up for not showing up for the scouts or scoring the goals they wished they had.
So leading up to tryouts for my college team…
I had worked all summer in training… mostly trying to be able to pass the “Cooper Test”… 2.0 miles in 12:00 minutes.
I didn’t know how to train for it… so I just kept running 4.0 miles ~3 times/week… with a goal to improve my time each time I ran.
I pretty much did improve every time…
but I had no guidance around how to properly train for speed, cadence, stamina of how to run 2.0 miles in 12:00 minutes.
and at that point in my life I refused to read books.
(I had read the Lord of the Rings series in middle school… and not a single book in high school… I had the belief that I “didn’t like reading” at that time…
and that carried over to where I also only read 2 books in all of college. LMAO… I still don’t know how I achieved such good grades with that belief system.)
So back to the running & training…
It’s time for college tryouts… and I remember a few things from the “2-a-days” we had that first 7-10 days.
#1 – I didn’t make my cooper test. I did 2.0 miles in 12:13 that first day… and to this day… that was still the fastest 2.0 miles of my life. My time got slightly worse each year following. (It’s still on my bucket list to slay that one) Oh… and those that didn’t make it had to run it every morning before 2-a-days started… so basically we didn’t have a chance if we didn’t make it the first day because we were wasted from the rest of the tryouts…
but I still ran my hardest and tried anyway… even when it was hopeless.
#2 – The quality of the 2-a-days were actually not as hard as my high school 2-a-days were… I was blown away because college was supposed to be harder than high school! (I wrote an entire paper about this in English 101 or 202.)
(and #2 changed when we got a new coach my 3rd year of college soccer… who brought in “3-a-days”… and they were INTENSE! This was my new definition of what hell my body was capable of dealing with… it stretched my body & mind forever.)
I actually do NOT remember being “cut” that first year… I DO remember that we didn’t have a JV team… and that a group of us were encouraged to practice over on a patch of grass to the side of the varsity practices…
on our own.
It started as probably 12-15 of us… and after a couple weeks a few less…
and eventually there were like 3-44 of us that would consistently show up, screw around with the ball a bit as none of us were taking a leadership position.
But then I remember the FOLLOWING year comes around…
I’m stronger, a year older, and to my surprise… a few of the guys on varsity remembered the “little guy with heart” that kept showing up the previous year.
All I remember is that by the end of 2-a-days that 2nd year…
I got cut – AGAIN…
but this time with a glimmer of hope! ☀️
The varsity roster was to be 16… and the coach told me I was #17!
So that if anyone got hurt, or become ineligible for grades, I was in!
DUDE!!
and I don’t remember if I was training with the team this time or not… I think I was invited to keep practicing with varsity this year. (but wouldn’t dress for games)
and in one of those days that changes your life forever…
little did I know what was in store for me.
The coach comes to me after a practice, and also brings over 1 other guy.
He proceeds to tell us that for the first travel game of the season, to CALIFORNIA, there was a spot open because one of the other players was ineligible.
(bad grades)
“I’M IN!”, I thought to myself…
feeling as if I’m going to burst with excitement!
and then the coach goes on to explain more…
and you can probably tell what happened…
but at the time I couldn’t figure out why this other guy was there…
but apparently he was also the “17th” player…
So the coach explains we are to have a coin toss to see who was going to go to Cali.
I felt super betrayed…
I felt lied to!
and I had could’ve easily walked away and flipped the coach off…
but that wasn’t in my nature.
I was not an “in your face” or “let’s stir up some shit and stand up for ourselves” kinda guy…
So what did I do?
I chose heads.
I think… I actually don’t remember who chose…
but I just knew it was out of my hands…
and I guess unconsciously I realized that I now had gained a 50% chance to make the team!
Compared to what I had been through up until now…
50% was far & away the greatest odds that had ever been in my favor…
the coin flips in the air…
and just like I remember moments of that high school championship game…
It spins in slow motion, sending out glimmers of the sun’s reflection.
and in perfect divine nature, as everything always happens…
the decision was made.
I WAS IN!
So not only did I finally make the team…
I’m going to get to touch the ocean for the first time in my life!
(little did I know I would also almost die from not being able to swim, not knowing shit about the ocean, and being sucked out by a big wave while bodyboarding… but that’s an entirely different story.)
😉
So if you remember how I started… my dream was to get a college scholarship.
Well… even after the California trip…
and even later that season me scoring my FIRST GOAL at one of the few games my DAD was able to come to…
(which was another miracle because I never even scored a single goal in all of high school JV or Varsity soccer)
I still didn’t have my scholarship.
It actually didn’t really even matter at this point…
I was getting some time playing the game I loved…
I was working my ass off…
on and off the field.
and besides desperately wanting to be able to talk to girls, but being too afraid…
and me never attending any parties because I needed every 1% advantage I could get…
I was pretty happy.
(At that point I still hadn’t kissed a girl, nor drank a sip of alcohol…)
and over winter break… we eventually started up Spring soccer.
It’s way less formal… we only practiced 2-3 days a week… and no games that I recall.
(Things would be much different under the new coach that next year… 3-a-days and hard core Spring training.)
One day after a practice in the gym… we had some kind of meeting.
We were in some random locker or meeting room in the gym. (I don’t think I had been in the school’s gym prior to this indoor practice.)
The coach holds back myself & 1 other guy.
We were both very similar… quiet, super hard workers, walk-ons.
and here comes one of those slow motion moments in my life again…
The coach lets us both know we were to receive full ride scholarships!
I couldn’t believe it.
I remember clutching this piece of paper in my hand that awarded my scholarship…
As I ran through the campus, in slow motion…
This is one of those “Peak Emotional Experiences” that are among the deepest of the deep…
A moment that would shape my life forever forward.
What once started as impossible…
was now REALITY!
This skinny little kid with nothing but a dream…
and unusually shy…
running through the campus as if he had just been awarded Homecoming King…
I remember tearing up & thanking God once I got closer to the athletic administration’s office…
but I had to compose myself before walking in.
So I get ready to present my piece of paper so they could do all of the official paperwork…
and I even remember the person I handed it to in the athletic office asked me a question…
she doubted that I deserved it and was second guessing it with her questions.
(It felt like she was pissed at the coach for giving money to a player that wasn’t yet a “star” on the team)
but I didn’t care… I knew this was real…
and that the goal had been accomplished!
and here is the real intention of why I started writing this post in the first place…
I didn’t plan to go into so much detail…
and I still left many important moments out…
but this may shock you.
You know how much that scholarship pays me today?
Nothing.
I don’t use my degree, school is over, and hell… I don’t even play the beautiful game anymore! (at least not currently)
but here’s where the real value is…
it was in the JOURNEY and in fighting my ass off for years in trying to get that scholarship.
and you know what else?
It wouldn’t have mattered if I ever received that scholarship or not…
because I still would have the same amazing lessons from what I had to go through to “get” it.
These lessons are what have shaped my entire life as a father, husband, contributor to humanity, and have influenced tens of thousands of people…
The work ethic, the defeat, the grit, the persistence, the heartbreak, the victories, the injuries, the mocking, the doubters, the believers, the training…
and nothing in my life is more valuable than the gifts, skills, lessons, and wisdom I now possess.
So as you’re on your journey right now…
for something worthwhile you’re fighting for…
Always remember that you’re in this for the JOURNEY…
and not for the end goal.
Jim Rohn said it so concisely around finances:
“The greatest reward in becoming a millionaire is not the amount of money that you earn. It is the kind of person that you have to become to become a millionaire.” — Jim Rohn
So whatever you’re struggling with today…
whatever victories you’re having…
However big or far away your target feels…
Just take one step at a time, stay consistent, and course correct as you go…
and not only will you get your target…
MOST IMPORTANTLY…
you’ll become the best version of yourself…
So that you can develop and become aware of even more of your deepest, God-given gifts…
and make this experience called humanity even better for yourself, your loved ones, and for those of us blessed to be in your sphere of influence.
With love & gratitude – Your future self.
